Observations while folding laundry

1. My wife has a lot of running pants
2. The littlest one produces the most laundry by volume
3. I do not know how to fold women's clothes

Insomnia sucks

This makes it all worth it.

My First Mustard

Inspired by Hank Shaw, I mixed up my first batch of mustard today. Got all low tech and ground up 3 tbls each of yellow mustard and brown mustard in the mortar, mixed that up with a little under 1/2 cup of ground mustard (the can didn't say what kind), 2 tsp of Kosher salt and 1/2 cup of cold water. I added one clove of garlic passed through the microplane and add 3 tbls of white wine vinegar after waiting 10 minutes. I probably should have ground up the mustard seeds separately since the yellow seeds were noticeably bigger than the brown and therefore seemed to get broken up much more than the brown. Live and learn. I have a feeling this won't be the last batch of mustard I'll be making. 

Gribenes 4:23

Schmaltz 3:45

Schmaltz 2:54

It just occurred to me that I should be using a frying pan to increase the surface area so that the water can boil out faster. Oh well, live and learn.

Someone might wonder why a guy who has issues with cholesterol would be learning to make Schmaltz in the first place. There are several reasons:

1. This is a test run for when I make rendered duck fat to make duck confit.
2. I paid for this fat so I'm going to use it, by god.
3. Some chicken(s) gave up their lives so the least I can do is try to make use of every single part of their body.
4. By using the Schmaltz I'll use that much less olive oil or vegetable oil and save a few cents here and there

Schmaltz 2:32

Schmaltz 2:32

More fat. The aroma is filling the kitchen. I need to turn up the fan. 

Things I plan to do with this:

1. pour over the chicken liver pate I plan to make
2. fry up some potatos 

Schmaltz 2:15

after just 15 minutes the pot is boiling and liquid golden goodness is forming around the edges. I don't want it to burn so I've turned down the heat a little bit. My wife just walked by, looked in the pot and said "Whoa, that's a lot of chicken fat."

Live Blog of my first batch of Schmaltz

I'm getting back to my long lost Ashkenazi roots and making a batch of Schmaltz. This has been a long time coming. The evolution to this point has probably been almost 5 years in the making but I'm finally taking a small step.

It didn't occur to me to take a picture of the two bags full of chicken fat and skin that I have been accumulating exactly for this purpose so the first picture is of the cut up fat and skin, one diced onion and about 2 cups of water in the pot.

I've looked at about 5 recipes and watched one video and decided that since I'm really going for the Schmaltz (rendered chicken fat) and not the gribenes (fried chicken skins) that I'm dicing my onion rather than slicing it. Although all the recipes seem to suggest using a frying pan I'm using a pot because I'm afraid of fat splattering everywhere. So now the pot is on stove over medium-low heat.

- right after I put the pot on the stove and turned on the heat. Of course, I'm using chopsticks to stir.

 2:00 I just checked one of the recipes and realized I should put in some salt so I've added a few pinches. Kosher, of course (duh).

I made this: Honey Maid guitar

The other day my son told me he wanted a guitar just like one of the other dads at his preschool. I may one day get around to finding him a guitar but in the meantime I made him this. Hats off to Made by Joel for the idea. One modification I made was to put a second bridge at the top of the box because the "strings" were laying flush against the box. I can't wait to use up other boxes in the house to make more guitars.

Shopping for Stock Tanks:

so I can do this: http://www.penick.net/digging/?p=3376

Pickled Rainbow Chard Stems

Picked up a bunch of rainbow chard the other day, partly to make for dinner, but mostly for this. I cut way back on the sugar because 2 cups just seems like way too much and I like sour more than sweet. Not exactly sure how much sugar I used since a big clump of it fell out of the jar as I was pouring it into the measuring cup. I threw in a few pepper corns too. Now the hardest part, waiting. And waiting. Has it been three days yet?

Wine cork iPhone stand

This morning I noticed that my wife was using a cork to prop up her iPhone at the table. I don't know what inspired me but I broke out my x-acto kit and started cutting away. I shaved a little down one side so the cork wouldn't roll side-to-side and then cut a channel for the phone to sit in. It was a little trial and error but luckily we've been saving corks for a long time so I have plenty of material.

A conversation imagined

Setting: Office water cooler
Date/Time: Monday morning

Richard: Morning, Avi
Avi: Morning, Dick, didn't expect to see you here.
Richard: Yeah, well, I guess that whole "Rapture" thing wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
Avi: Well, you know, the end of the world is a little hard to pin down.
Richard: About that, I know I might have said a few things on Friday that were a little out of line.
Avi: The whole "you're going to Hell" spiel was a little much, but I can understand, you thought the end of the world was upon us. Besides, you did give me your stapler and three-hole punch
Richard: Speaking of those, I don't suppose there's any way I could get those back?
Avi: Sorry, I gave them to Prasanna in IT.
Richard: WHAT? That Paki?
Avi: Well, you did give them to me and I already had a stapler and three-hole punch so I gave them to him.
Richard: How could you give them to that heathen?
Avi: With an attitude like that it's no wonder you weren't taken up.
Richard: oh, F*ck you.

R:

From my son's future autobiography:

Chapter 12: The day my cruel, evil father didn't buy me the M&M Easter Bunny in the checkout line and how it scarred me for life.

PSA

Thumb drives can survive a trip through the washer and dryer. Not recommended, but possible.

New phone app

My son just discovered the teething phone app. Works on any phone and you don't need to download anything.

Spring haiku

Days lengthen, buds appear, buy Kleenex.