Back to school

Red pen: felt, ball point?
Index card, with lines or blank?
School supply life tilt.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Heat Wave

On hot summer nights,
open windows bring breezes,
spouses' angry words.

#MyLifeInHaiku

The end

End of the school year:
Reports cards, year books, picnics.
Lost book notices.

#MyLifeInHaiku #ParentChronicles

Kraut

Water, salt, cabbage,
bacteria and patience.
Making sauerkraut.

#MyLifeInHaiku #DadInTheKitchen


- Tyler

Allergies

I love the spring time
for the day or two until
the sneezing begins.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Adventures in Parenting

Monday night game night,
our new favorite game is
"Find the retainer."

#MyLifeInHaiku

Forsaken

Internet down since Thursday. Can't install FB on my phone.

WHY HASN'T THE GOVERNOR DECLARED A STATE OF EMERGENCY!?!?!

On the flip side, I am blissfully behind on the latest Drumph shit show.

#FirstWorldProblems

Men's soccer

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
That's gonna bruise.

#MyLifeInHaiku

For better or worse

I do not recall
"I will hang dry delicates,"
as a wedding vow.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Apparently

It's after midnight,
I'm drunk tweeting and posting,
I'm presidential.

#MyLifeInHaiku

One day

I'm sure that one day,
I will miss these things you do,
but not very soon.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Growing pain

Braces? Expanders?
The next parenting chapter
begins in the red.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Jarred

My peaceful slumber
disturbed by the voice of Trump
should have chose buzzer.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Tranquility

That inner calmness
and clarity of thinking
when caring ceases.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Tonight for dinner

I'm making a dish I call

"leftover surprise."

#MyLifeInHaiku

Thought progression

A child is crying
at the park. Is it mine? No.
Return to Facebook.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Faith

Wet spot in bathroom;
I'm just going to believe
that it is water.

#MyLifeInHaiku
#LifeWithBoys

21 vs 43

Sports car : Mini van

Super model : Someone who cares

Big mac: Kale salad.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Wild Man

Today, for my lunch: 

a vegan dish, topped with cheese.

Sometimes, just because.

#MyLifeInHaiku

102 minute hardship

My Touch ID hand is hooked up to the Apheresis machine. Need to manually enter my pass code.

#FirstWorldProblems

Ding-a-ling

The first ice cream truck
rolling through, blaring music;
the sounds of summer.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Countdown

Summer vacation:

the quick way to determine

which parents plan well.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Mid-life Desire

I still like sports cars, 

but mini-vans with built-in

vacuums turn me on.

#MyLifeInHaiku

#SAHDLife

último huevo

How many can say
"I am eating the last egg
that my chicken laid."?

#MyLifeInHaiku


- Tyler

Futbol, Footbal, Fussball, Soccer

Copa America, 

Euro Cup 2016,

a soccer fan's dream.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Veinticinco

High school reunion.
Too bad we weren't all so chill
when we were eighteen.

#MyLifeInHaiku


- Tyler

Boomerang

Behold, the school lunch,
packed with love and care each day.
Returned uneaten.

#MyLifeInHaiku


- Tyler

Psychosomatic

Nothing makes my head itch
like a letter sent from school
regarding head lice.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Not in Kansas anymore

I've traveled far, far
away to a strange land called
the "Mercer Island."

#MyLifeInHaiku

Quid pro quo

I will accept dismissal of judge Curiel from the Trump U case on the grounds of his being Mexican as soon as we dismiss a Trump candidacy on the grounds of Trump being a racist asshole.

#Can'tHaikuThat

Timing is everything, part 2

An hour past bedtime
is the best time to mention
the hives, there since lunch.

#MyLifeInHaiku
#GTFTS

Timing is Everything

When it's time to leave
is always the time that my
kids need to go poo.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Empty Nest

The coop is empty.
The three hens, once four, are no more.
Chicken and dumplings.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Weekend warrior

It's not my ego,
but memories writing checks
my body can't cash.

#MyLifeInHaiku
#RowdiesForLife

Professional Development Days

Whoever thought up

two-hour early dismissal

hated all parents.

#MyLifeInHaiku

Legal tender

I am not sure what
currencies Uber accepts,
I take macarons.

unclean

I feel so dirty
each time I search "Donald Trump"
to fact check my snark.

#MyLifeInHaiku

A good day

Some days it's enough
to have pizza on the beach
and help your neighbors.

#MyLifeInHaiku

140 vs 17

At 5-7-5,
just seventeen syllables,
original Twitter.

#MyLifeInHaiku
#Rumination

Hello World

This is a test post.
Playing around with an app
IFTTT

#MyLifeInHaiku

Wash, Rinse, Repeat

The laundry hamper
I emptied just yesterday
is full once again.

#MyLifeInHaiku

SWOT

I can cook dinner,
Wash clothes and fold the laundry.
I don't gift wrap well.

#MyLifeInHaiku

meds

Naproxen, two pills,
Glucosamine twice a day,
low dose aspirin.

#MyLifeInHaiku

What's for lunch

Musubi with sesame seeds and gribenes in the middle. In the back, chia seeds with Perilla oil.

Kakdooki

Due to popular demand (2 people), here is my recipe for white radish kim chee. This is based on the recipe in the The Joy of Pickling with a few minor tweaks. 

Kakdooki (Fermented Daikon)

1 1/2 lbs daikon, peeled and cut into 3/4-inch cubes*

6 scallions cut in 1- 1 1/2 lengths, white parts split

8 cloves of garlic, minced

2 teaspoons pickling salt

2 teaspoons sugar

2 teaspoons Korean ground chili pepper

1. In a large bowl, combine all of the ingredients, cover with plastic wrap and let stand at room temp for 6-12 hours. I usually mix up the mixture 2 or 3 times during this time.

2. Pack the mixture into a quart size jar and push down firmly to remove air bubbles and push vegetables below the brine. The recipe says to cover the jar loosely with the lid but these days I use a plastic mason jar lid with a rubber grommet and an air lock (available at home brew supply stores)

3. Let the jar sit at room temperature (not warmer than 72 degrees) for 3-7 days until the radish has reached the desired sourness. I usually wait until my wife tells me the kitchen smells like kim chee. 

4. Tighten the cap and refrigerate. 

With the chili pepper I use, this produces a pretty mild kim chee, which is just right for my boys. If you like spicier you can add more pepper.

The original recipe called for the scallions to be cut into thin rounds but I like big pieces of green onion and so do the boys. 

Be sure to leave yourself at least an inch of headroom as the radish brine may rise after you put the mixture into the jar. 

* I use lobak, Korean daikon. I've never tried it with daikon or any other white radish. 

Riding the bike

Today we took the training wheels off:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob_vwUfD_2I&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Bed

Onion soup

This is what 7 pounds of Spanish onions reduced for 6 hours on low heat looks like. FYI

Things to do when you can't sleep

Play around with Twitterfeed.

No seriously

What did we do before the Internet and iPads?

Observations while folding laundry

1. My wife has a lot of running pants
2. The littlest one produces the most laundry by volume
3. I do not know how to fold women's clothes

Insomnia sucks

This makes it all worth it.

My First Mustard

Inspired by Hank Shaw, I mixed up my first batch of mustard today. Got all low tech and ground up 3 tbls each of yellow mustard and brown mustard in the mortar, mixed that up with a little under 1/2 cup of ground mustard (the can didn't say what kind), 2 tsp of Kosher salt and 1/2 cup of cold water. I added one clove of garlic passed through the microplane and add 3 tbls of white wine vinegar after waiting 10 minutes. I probably should have ground up the mustard seeds separately since the yellow seeds were noticeably bigger than the brown and therefore seemed to get broken up much more than the brown. Live and learn. I have a feeling this won't be the last batch of mustard I'll be making. 

Gribenes 4:23

Schmaltz 3:45

Schmaltz 2:54

It just occurred to me that I should be using a frying pan to increase the surface area so that the water can boil out faster. Oh well, live and learn.

Someone might wonder why a guy who has issues with cholesterol would be learning to make Schmaltz in the first place. There are several reasons:

1. This is a test run for when I make rendered duck fat to make duck confit.
2. I paid for this fat so I'm going to use it, by god.
3. Some chicken(s) gave up their lives so the least I can do is try to make use of every single part of their body.
4. By using the Schmaltz I'll use that much less olive oil or vegetable oil and save a few cents here and there

Schmaltz 2:32

Schmaltz 2:32

More fat. The aroma is filling the kitchen. I need to turn up the fan. 

Things I plan to do with this:

1. pour over the chicken liver pate I plan to make
2. fry up some potatos 

Schmaltz 2:15

after just 15 minutes the pot is boiling and liquid golden goodness is forming around the edges. I don't want it to burn so I've turned down the heat a little bit. My wife just walked by, looked in the pot and said "Whoa, that's a lot of chicken fat."

Live Blog of my first batch of Schmaltz

I'm getting back to my long lost Ashkenazi roots and making a batch of Schmaltz. This has been a long time coming. The evolution to this point has probably been almost 5 years in the making but I'm finally taking a small step.

It didn't occur to me to take a picture of the two bags full of chicken fat and skin that I have been accumulating exactly for this purpose so the first picture is of the cut up fat and skin, one diced onion and about 2 cups of water in the pot.

I've looked at about 5 recipes and watched one video and decided that since I'm really going for the Schmaltz (rendered chicken fat) and not the gribenes (fried chicken skins) that I'm dicing my onion rather than slicing it. Although all the recipes seem to suggest using a frying pan I'm using a pot because I'm afraid of fat splattering everywhere. So now the pot is on stove over medium-low heat.

- right after I put the pot on the stove and turned on the heat. Of course, I'm using chopsticks to stir.

 2:00 I just checked one of the recipes and realized I should put in some salt so I've added a few pinches. Kosher, of course (duh).

I made this: Honey Maid guitar

The other day my son told me he wanted a guitar just like one of the other dads at his preschool. I may one day get around to finding him a guitar but in the meantime I made him this. Hats off to Made by Joel for the idea. One modification I made was to put a second bridge at the top of the box because the "strings" were laying flush against the box. I can't wait to use up other boxes in the house to make more guitars.

Shopping for Stock Tanks:

so I can do this: http://www.penick.net/digging/?p=3376

Pickled Rainbow Chard Stems

Picked up a bunch of rainbow chard the other day, partly to make for dinner, but mostly for this. I cut way back on the sugar because 2 cups just seems like way too much and I like sour more than sweet. Not exactly sure how much sugar I used since a big clump of it fell out of the jar as I was pouring it into the measuring cup. I threw in a few pepper corns too. Now the hardest part, waiting. And waiting. Has it been three days yet?

Wine cork iPhone stand

This morning I noticed that my wife was using a cork to prop up her iPhone at the table. I don't know what inspired me but I broke out my x-acto kit and started cutting away. I shaved a little down one side so the cork wouldn't roll side-to-side and then cut a channel for the phone to sit in. It was a little trial and error but luckily we've been saving corks for a long time so I have plenty of material.

A conversation imagined

Setting: Office water cooler
Date/Time: Monday morning

Richard: Morning, Avi
Avi: Morning, Dick, didn't expect to see you here.
Richard: Yeah, well, I guess that whole "Rapture" thing wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
Avi: Well, you know, the end of the world is a little hard to pin down.
Richard: About that, I know I might have said a few things on Friday that were a little out of line.
Avi: The whole "you're going to Hell" spiel was a little much, but I can understand, you thought the end of the world was upon us. Besides, you did give me your stapler and three-hole punch
Richard: Speaking of those, I don't suppose there's any way I could get those back?
Avi: Sorry, I gave them to Prasanna in IT.
Richard: WHAT? That Paki?
Avi: Well, you did give them to me and I already had a stapler and three-hole punch so I gave them to him.
Richard: How could you give them to that heathen?
Avi: With an attitude like that it's no wonder you weren't taken up.
Richard: oh, F*ck you.

R:

From my son's future autobiography:

Chapter 12: The day my cruel, evil father didn't buy me the M&M Easter Bunny in the checkout line and how it scarred me for life.

PSA

Thumb drives can survive a trip through the washer and dryer. Not recommended, but possible.

New phone app

My son just discovered the teething phone app. Works on any phone and you don't need to download anything.

Spring haiku

Days lengthen, buds appear, buy Kleenex.

The little boy in me

kind of wants to go here: CONEXPO-CON/AGG http://tinyurl.com/4jz4366

I <3 technology: just sent my cousin MLS tix via email

My son, the dictator

I imagine this might be what Mussolini was at age 3

H: Daaaadddddyyyy, Come here!
Me: Yes?
H: I'm going poo-poo. Just put your head in and turn on the fan. It's stinky.
Me: OK
H: Now can you go away?

five minutes later....

H: Daaaaaddddd. Come here!
Me: yes?
H: Can you pick up that toilet paper?
Me: OK.
H: Now go away.

three minutes later....

H: Daaaaaaadddddyyyyy!
Me: yes?
H: Can you get me that book?
Me: OK.
H: Now go away.

One minute later....

H: Daaaadddddyy!! Pick up this book.

Just a day in the life.

A good day:

Mom: how was pre-school?
H: good. I didn't hit anybody.

Can't stop watching:

Punkin chunkin on the Science channel.

Recent Statement Regarding Online Gambling

Sen. Margarita Prentice
PO Box 40411
Olympia, WA 98504-0411

Senator Prentice,

I am writing you regarding recent statements you made to ESPN.com regarding online gambling in the state of Washington. I was deeply disappointed by your apparent lack of empathy and concern for those Washington state residents who would seek to participate in online poker playing. Your apparent contempt for poker players and disparagement of gas station attendants is particularly upsetting. Your inability to understand and show concern for online poker players begs the question if there are other constituencies that you are out of touch with or fail to understand.

I am a stay-at-home parent of two young boys who enjoys playing poker as a recreation. As a parent I do not always have the time or luxury of traveling to a casino to play poker. Online poker allows me to put in short sessions of poker as time permits without needing to drive anywhere. Unfortunately I do not have the luxury to leave my children unattended and go down to the gas station and "go pump gas" as you suggest.

According to the law you sponsored I am a felon simply for playing poker online in the privacy of my own home. I must respectfully disagree.

Sincerely,
Tyler Moriguchi
Seattle, Washington

For sale:

3 year old boy. Make offer. All sales final.

Good/Bad soccer

Good: had a guy who looked like Tyrone Marshall play on our soccer team tonight. Bad: he didn't play like Tyrone Marshall.

If only

3 year olds and two month olds understood daylight savings and slept in for that extra hour.

Things I never thought I'd say

"no H, we don't lick frosting off other children's faces."

Winning feels good

Except for that barely being able to walk thing after the game. Rowdies Blue 5-1 (maybe 6).

If I may say so......

God damn I make a good Vietnamese house-husband.

SAHD Math

One 2 year old + one 6 week old + one pulled groin + one wife at work = one scared father + one long day

Who knew?

According to T my car "smells like boy" and apparently that is a bad thing.

QOTD

"Daddy, when I am older will you share your alcohol?" I can't make this stuff up. Mind you, he will be three in November. I guess there's no question who's child he is.

Fashion faux

Sounders jersey, grey shorts, and ................ Pink socks! Auntie QP would def not approve. That's the risk you run when you let your son choose.

Culinary adventure

The impulse buy of frozen boiled and salted broad beans was sadly a disaster. It would have helped if there were instructions on how to prepare on the package.

I wish

I didn't have to apologize to other parents for my son's behavior so much.

Friday night, parent style

Get child number 1 to bed by 9:00 while infant sleeps so we parents can spend some intimate time together paying bills online and read about our coop's new bed bug policy. We are crazy like that.

Milestones:

Just gave MMM his first bottle, which he killed in one sitting.

Haiku

Autumn rain/ falling in Seattle./ Too bad it's still summer.

Introducing

I would like to introduce everyone to my son, Minh Moriguchi.

Pretty awesome

Thanks to Julius Goat over at the Goat Speaks for this.

An open letter to dog owners

(especially the one who's dog took a shit at Woodinville field #2) I like dogs. Big ones, little ones, yappy little lap dogs, dogs with funny haircuts, you name it. I don't even mind the slobber or the bad breath. And I don't mind them running around off-leash in the park or on the field. And even when your dog takes a giant dump in the middle of a soccer field, I don't hate them. Because let's face it, they're dogs. But when you, as their owner, leave that shit on the field, I hate you. I despise you. I want to cause bodily harm to you. And if I ever see you leaving shit on the field it will not be pretty.

And sure, I've been in your situation where I only brought 2 bags and you've already used them up. But maybe you can look in a garbage can and find something to use to, at the very least, remove said shit from the middle of the field.

Thank you.

Happiness is...

Coming home and having your son run up to you and saying "hi daddy, I missed you!"

TMWS

(things my wife says) "I knew one of us was going to give in and it wasn't going to be him"

SMDT

(Sh*t my dad texts) "I'm in the beer g"

This is interesting on several levels.
1. That my dad is texting me in the first place
2. Where he is texting me from
3. That he is using shorthand and not spelling out "garden". Next thing I know he'll be using "idk" and "lol"

With respect to Mr. Cosby

Son: "why it not working?"
Me: "it's not plugged in"
Son: "it plugged out?"

A typical day at the office

me to son: "do you have to go poo?"
son: "No, I'm just shaking my bum-bum."

WWYW answer

If you answered pink you are correct! If you didn't, you don't have the same fashion sense as a two year old.